At the time I began this draft, Spider-Man: Brand New Day has out-paced The Avengers: Endgame’s claims the record for opening weekend financials. By the time I publish this, speculation concerning how many billions the film will earn during its theatrical run will ensue. Those attentive to Marvel, DC, the MCU, Hollywood, and the global film industry at large raise their collective eyebrows. Could Brand New Day reach or surpass the almost two billion dollar mark Spider-Man: No Way Home set for a “solo” hero movie?
I hope not.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day has eclipsed $2B
‘Scust. Well I’m not re-writing what I drafted after Brand New Day’s opening weekend, because my opinion is the same: good, but not $2B in three weeks good. People are proving Alan Moore right.
In contrast to Brand New Day, Spider-Man: No Way Home is an outstanding film that executes Marvel/Disney’s multiverse fetish with aplomb, while movies like The Marvels and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness converge multiple heroes and franchises into a maladroit cacophony. I’ll never forgive watching Scarlet Witch 1v5 Professor X, Mr Fantastic, Captain America Carter, Black Bolt, and the original Captain Marvel [sic], only for America Chavez to defeat her with a punch in the face during the climax. It’s an irresponsible script that will go down as one of the worst in comic cinema history. At least The Marvels mercifully inflicted me with a torpor so I can’t scrutinize its plot.
Throughout whatever MCU phase we’re in, Marvel has been inundating its audience with content of inconsistent quality. Critics commend Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, but Marvel gave it the cartoon treatment like the What If…? series, granting audiences permission to disregard the most intelligent character on Earth. Even a character as boring as Hawkeye got his own show. Avenger privilege I suppose, but does anyone take Kate Bishop seriously as the new Hawkeye? Falcon as the new Captain America?
At least we know the answer to the second question, for (a young) Steve Rogers appears before Thor in the new Avengers: Doomsday trailer, indicating that Marvel wants fans to forget that Captain America: Brave New World happened since OG Cap makes a cameo. Though Shui dons the Black Panther regalia in Wakanda Forever, Marvel has introduced David Jonsson as touchily’s son, and the next Black Panther (3). No one is talking about Riri Williams as Iron Heart, and She-Hulk’s show punchlines itself. Moon Knight, Echo, and Secret Wars were shows that happened, and Agatha All Along was Marvel/Disney getting high on its own supply after WandaVision’s popularity plus post-Endgame hype. I only watched the first season of Loki and quit Daredevil: Born Again shortly after that happens. I just don’t have the attention span for mediocre television, and I know I’m not alone.
Considering this oversaturation of B-tier shows, Brand New Day excited the fandom with its trailers, teasing cameos from the Punisher, the Scorpion, the Hand, and the Hulk, all of whom Spider-Man tussles. It heralded a return to the basics: a superhero movie where the hero resolves problems by punching them. Yet what drove me to the theater was the hope generated from seeing Peter, Ned, and MJ together, both in clips where they have no idea who he is, and also clips suggesting that at least Peter and MJ got back together. With Aunt May dead, though she makes a couple of cameos via flashbacks, it was important to me that Peter regained his friends.
Getting into the specifics of why I didn’t like Brand New Day requires spoilers.
Contrary to the rave reviews and its outrageous profitability, I didn’t like Brand New Day.
Tom Holland will never beat the allegations that he can’t carry his own Spider-Man movies. Going down the list: Homecoming—Michael Keaton, Jon Favreau, and Robert Downey, Jr; Far from Home—Jake Gyllenhaal, Samuel L. Jackson and Favreau again—No Way Home: Benedict Cumberbatch, and of course the nostalgia bomb of Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and the Sinister Six which includes the likes of Alfred Molina, Jamie Foxx, and Willem Dafoe. At least in Brand New Day, the supporting cast does not dwarf Holland’s presence. Yeah, Mark Ruffalo, Florence Pugh, Jon Bernthal, and of course Zendaya are all present, but they’re neither Avengers nor actors and actresses whose pedigrees eclipse Holland’s.
Holland could have flourished if Brand New Day was not a conduit for introducing the X-Men. Introducing Sadie Sink as Jean Grey supersedes everything about this film. Five or more years from now, all this movie will be is this: mutants exist in the MCU, and Peter Parker develops a weapon that targets DNA to suppress their mutations. I say weapon because fans know that the gadget he develops—with MJ’s help, because in this universe, she’s not mere eye candy but a bit of a genius herself—that he uses to suppress the acceleration of his mutation from the radioactive spider is the prototype for a future Genosha because I doubt they will go the “Jimmy” route again. (TODAY I learned that “Jimmy” in X3: Last Stand is Leech. Whew—entertaining movie, but poorly written, 20th Century Fox.)
For these reasons, Spider-Man: Brand New Day makes for a well-written movie that fits right within the MCU pantheon, imbricating a bunch of IPs. In this way, it unintentionally demonstrates why Marvel/Disney canceled Blade: Kevin Feige seems to believe that every licensed Marvel movie must tie into the MCU, but none of them are rated R like the Blade movies. Additionally, Wesley Snipes was an executive producer of the Blade movies; consequently, the first one in particular is unapologetically Black. Disney execs didn’t even want the Black Panther movies to happen; making another Black movie? Ha! They won’t even make another Shang-Chi. The only reason we’re getting a third Black Panther is because Coogler possess command.
A good Spider-Man movie Brand New Days it is not, because Peter Parker/Spider-Man himself lacks development. By the end of this film’s two hours and twenty-five minute runtime, Peter is in the same social and emotional state as when the film begins. And apparently physical too, because the movie delays a resolution to Peter’s accelerated mutation into the Man-Spider. In fact, he embraces his proto-monstrous state in order to save Jean from the Department of Damage Control (DODC) after he had earlier assisted in her apprehension and later realized that the cops were the bad guys all along. The movie already shows what happens when someone destroys Banner’s DNA-suppressing mechanism, so it’s only a matter of time before Peter damages his in a future fight. Then again, he doesn’t put on another in a Marvel/Disney gesture of him embracing who he is as Jean embraces her newly unlocked powers. Sure, I guess.
Indeed, Spider-Man doesn’t even need to save Jean from the DODC. He needs to save the DODC from Jean. Brand New Day is an errant Punisher gunshot shy away from Jean Grey’s villain origin story. The silliness of writing Jean into the role of the foil means the movie dedicates more time to her development and revelatory moment instead of Peter’s. The DODC amplifies Jean’s powers through torture, and she pulls off the Professor X trick of freezing time on half of Queens. She also uses her powers to keep Peter conscious after taking Punisher’s gunshot for her. This haphazard, rapid resolution is like, yeah sure whatever, dude. The conclusion of X3 demonstrates that Professor X, with mature control of his powers, can transfer his consciousness. Conversely, Young Jean in Brand New Day doesn’t match this feat, but she also does not demonstrate a capacity to keep Peter alive. Conversely, the film never discloses how Peter can push Jean out of his mind. Headcannon is how content creators pay their bills, but I don’t care for leaving these kinds of details up for interpretation. This is a superhero movie, not Inception.
In the absence of an actual big bad, Brand New Day stumbles upon its own copaganda with odd, inconsistent messaging concerning distrust of the government agencies juxtaposed with NYC’s mayor awarding Spider-Man the city key, which is a missed opportunity for a Zohran Mamdami cameo in post-production. Meanwhile, Spider-Man keeps detective Jean Wolffon speed-dial. I miss the days when my comics and cartoons depict Spider-Man as a masked vigilante with a strained relationship with the NYPD. In Brand New Day, he’s basically deputized. It’s gross.
Brand New Day tries to pull the whole “LEOs are good with the exception of a few bad apples” by giving the feds a face with William Metzger, hoping that the audience falls for the misdirection when Spider-Man is in the hospital and the crowd cheers for him. Here, I point out that an element of the Spider-Man legacy that’s missing:
Where the FRICK is J. Jonah Jameson to stir the pot???
Nevertheless, I would have forgiven ALL of the above transgressions had Brand New Day fulfilled the principal reason I was excited to watch: gettin Peter, Ned, and MJ back together. The trailer teases this and the movie gaslights instead.
Once [Jean] learns how much Peter cares about MJ, [she] races him to her. He arrives at MJ’s apartment as Spider-Man and treats her to a web-swinging ride. This sequence pulls at the heartstrings, alluding to the first time Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man takes Kirsten Dunst’s Mary Jane Watson on a web-swinging session. Holland’s Spider-Man stops on a rooftop to rest, and Zendaya’s MJ claims to remember everything, and seals this reveal with (paraphrased) “a true love’s kiss that breaks the spell, reuniting two star-crossed lovers.” Yet this entire sequence reveals Jean playing literal and figurative mind games. Through mind-jumping, she had beaten Peter to MJ and played along until this moment. Devastating, but there was still a chance.
Later, while Peter is away fighting Professor and Savage Hulk, MJ finds and reads this same letter. She verifies that Doctor Strange’s spell worked, and she tells Peter, “I’m sorry to this man. I don’t know him.”
This scene takes place at the ninety-minute mark of the film, and I’m already done with it but there are fifty-five more minutes of runtime remaining. It’s supposed to be a gut punch sequence, but I’m experiencing second-hand embarrassment and chagrin. I was way too hyped for this scene to play out differently—for the MJ rooftop scene to be real.
Nope. It’s a juke.
I hate it.
MJ inviting Spider-Man up to hang out with Ned combined with the closing scene depicting Peter reintroducing himself to Ned—reintroducing because as Spider-Man is about to return to the DODC earlier, MJ calls him “Peter” in front of Ned, to which Ned repeats like an implied question; after Peter performs their handshake from muscle memory, Ned repeats Peter’s name again but this time as if to answer the question asked earlier—is Marvel/Disney offering an olive branch for fans to headcannon themselves into oblivion with speculation that they’ll become friends again off-screen.
I reject it.
I returned home and Googled for context because Brand New Day’s commitment to keeping Peter and MJ separate reminds me of the most unpopular modern Spider-Man story written this side of the Clone Saga: One More Day. I now know that Brand New Day in the comics is One More Day’s sequel. Ah, Marvel/Disney desires parity between the MCU and its comics. This is where they went wrong.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day is not a movie that I would re-watch willingly. It doesn’t accomplish anything that pushes Peter Parker/Spider-Man forward. He never gained the courage to read MJ the letter; she did it for him. He decided not to reveal his identity to Ned because ____. Insert an explanation there because Marvel/Disney didn’t provide one.
As my 9th grade English teacher would say, Spider-Man: Brand New Day is a good movie made to sell popcorn and little else.
Extra:
Yes, the Savage Hulk scene put a smile on my face, but that entire sequence lasts for maybe two minutes. Jon Bernthal was born to be the Punisher like Robert Downey Jr. was born to play Iron Man; when Jean takes over his mind, he drops his accent to say “Good luck with that, Peter” in a completely unfamiliar voice. Great acting. I don’t care too much for Florence Pugh’s cameo; I had forgotten everything about Black Widow (2021) except that it served as Scarjo passing the baton to Pugh. My wife and I watched the Thunderbolts immediately after Brand New Day, and not only did it convince me that Pugh is a better “Black Widow” than Scarjo, who couldn’t even manage a Russian accent, but Thunderbolts is probably the best movie of this MCU phase alongside Shang-Chi and Wakanda Forever. I get it. Kinda. I didn’t watch Stranger Things, so I’m ambivalent about Sadie Sink as Jean Grey even though this movie is as much about her as it is Spider-Man.